Official Diagnosis

     I woke up with my eyes nearly swolled shut, and hives head to toe.  I immediately called for an appointment, and even got in today.  The doctor officially diagnosed my with a form of vasculitis, caused by Lupus.  I had at least eight vials of blood done, and a urine test.  My urine was brown, which I am pretty sure, is a bad sign.  I was put on Prednisone for now, to control the vasculitis. 
     When the the lab test come back next week, I will see  the doctor again.  If need be, he wants to put me on a medication called Paquin(?), long term, to help with my kidneys.  The problem with the Paquin is, it is probably not safe to be pregnant, and taking it.  I am suppose to be off it for 60-90 days, before I even try to get pregnant.
     What am I going to do?  I need my kidneys, but I want a baby.  I may have to give up, ever getting pregnant.  I so what to experience the wonders of pregnancy, and nurse my little darling.
     What made this day even worse, while digging for the doctor's card, I ran upon my appointment card for my last OB visit, when I was informed my pregnancy was no longer viable.  She was due on January 12th.  I want to go climb in a cave and hibernate until Spring.  

Here We Go

Losing our baby in June 2009, was devastating. At the end of September, I was finally feeling up to the possibility, of once again, trying to build our family. Then, I got the news that my mother had passed. I'm heartbroken. I was so looking forward to watching her play with my children. Mom was funny and creative; just what every grandma needs to be. She was only 58. Life is so short. None of us know how many heartbeats we have in us.
I am in the middle of a Lupus flare, which is not the time to become pregnant. Studies show a higher rate of pregnancy complications, when a women becomes pregnant, while in the midst of a flare. Based on previous flares, this one should be over in about a month.
In the mean time, I am going to start reading a book I found on the internet, that promises to hold the secrets to reversing infertiltiy issues. I bought the e-book Pregnancy Miracle yesterday. I start reading tomorrow. Wish me luck!